Zeno’s Paradox

by Bonc on April 15, 2014

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There’s an ancient Greek philosophical conundrum called “Zeno’s Paradox”. Picture an archer firing an arrow at a tree. If the archer’s starting point is Point A and the tree is Point B, then at some point during the arrow’s flight, it has to cross a midpoint between the archer and the tree called Point C. Before it can reach Point C, however, it must also cross a midpoint called Point D. Before reaching Point D, it must cross Point E, and so on and so forth. The ultimate conclusion is that there are an infinite number of points an arrow needs to cross, and thus it can never reach the tree. Hence, the paradox.

Of course, we know that’s all in our heads. In real life, when an archer shoots an arrow, if his aim is true, it always hits the tree. Like all mental games, Zeno’s Paradox exists only in the mind, by definition, but we can make it real in our actions. Take networking, for example. Think back to a time when you’ve found yourself catching eyes with someone at an event and realizing “Hey, that’s the Chairman of Such-and-Such Famous Company! Oh my gosh!” She’s just standing over there by the refreshments, pouring herself an orange juice. No one is talking to her. You have a chance to introduce yourself.

And…you freeze.

What if she has no interest in you? What if you need her company’s services and access to markets more than she needs your product line? What if she’s rude and judgmental? You’ve heard she has that reputation from that article in Forbes you read three months ago. What if you spill your drink on her? What if? What if? What if what if what if…..

Shyness is only natural. In day to day life, people don’t normally just walk up to strangers and introduce themselves. In Toronto, in particular, we have a reserved social culture: we would much rather wait for someone else to break the ice for us than do it ourselves. This even applies to networking events at which the main point is to talk to strangers, to open up possibilities for collaboration, new business relationships, and greater prosperity for everyone involved.

What can you do? Simple: just walk up and say “nice to meet you”.

Relax the rule that exists only in your head that says “don’t talk to her”. Acknowledge the voice in your head that says you can’t do it, the same self-defeating voice that you learned to ignore that told you “you can’t make a living doing what you love” all those years you were building your business. Realize that the barriers between you and the CEO you’ve been hoping to meet are imaginary: in real life, nothing can stop you from walking over. Will the conversation turn out great? You won’t know, and there’s no way to know, until and unless you take the action of walking over there and saying “hi”. Everything else is just all in your head.

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Networking Tips for the Summertime

by Bonc on June 24, 2013

Networking in the Summer Season [click to continue…]

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First Impression NetworkingThese days, branding yourself is more than just having a good company logo . People often overlook the fact that when someone is looking to attend your event or purchase your product, what they are really doing is buying into you.

So, I can’t stress enough the importance of being the best, authentic you that you can be at all times and making sure that this is in line with your mission, your goals and the vision of your business.

Become an expert in your field and do something that sets you apart so that when people see your name, your specialty is immediate in their mind.

Make sure your business cards, your website reflect you, your expertise, your personality.

Use the most important points that you want to highlight about you in your personal profiles everywhere and be consistent!

It’s o.k for people to know what you do for fun. In fact, I highly recommend it. If you are the intuitive business coach who likes to salsa and refers to herself as a “golf widow”, I’ll most likely remember it.

Most importantly, get clear on who you are and who you want to be. If you get clear on that, then everyone else will be too.

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It's Starts with a simple "HELLO"

by Bonc on October 4, 2012

Girl Showing Us How To Say HelloI’ve been thinking about the famous scene where Rene Zelleweger turns to Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire and after hearing him pour his heart out says, ” You had me at hello”. Remember that? Gotta love this beautiful scene and testimony of his love for her but it is also, in my mind, a beautiful reminder of the power of HELLO and taking the first step.

Often we find ourselves at events, not knowing what to say, how to approach the strangers in the room so people sit in the back, take copious notes and leave after the event not having connected with the people they need to connect with, not having shared their brilliance with anyone in the room and not having taken a single step forward.

Why not just say HELLO?

It’s simple. It holds no expectations. It’s not a sales proposition. It’s not a marriage proposal. It is a start.

Did the words Tom Cruise said after hello not matter? Of course they did. He poured out his heart and showed her who he really was but had he not come to her and taken those first steps of connecting, there would be no happy ending.

All the coaches, gurus, mentors will tell you to take action, even the smallest, tiniest step forward. It keeps you moving toward your dreams. Lifting your head up from the notebook, turning to the person next to you and making contact in some small way is a tremendous step forward. This could be your next client, a referral partner or a friend for life (Believe me, I have made many in this simple way!)

No need to be quite as dramatic as Tom Cruise. Your life is a different kind of motion picture. No need to overcomplicate. Next time you are out there…. just say HELLO.

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